Book Review: This is how it always is - L. Frankel

“This is how it always is. You have to make these huge decision on behalf of your kid, this tiny human whose fate and future is entirely in your hands. Who trusts you to know what's good and right and then to be able to make that happen. You never have enough information. You don't get to see the future. And if you screw up - if with your incomplete contradictory information you make the wrong call - nothing less than your child's entire future and happiness is at stake. It's impossible. It's heartbreaking. It's maddening. But there's no alternative."

A family of seven, an ER doctor mother, a writer father and five sons. A busy, chaotic life, two loving parents and the littlest of the boy that one day starts wearing dresses and affirms he wants to be a girl when he grows up. 

A very powerful message, a very brave story of acceptance and about loving your dear ones for what they are, but also of finding who you really are when it is not so obvious and you are stuck in the middle.
A very difficult theme to write about, gender dysphoria in a very young child, in a very bigoted America, in a family that is doing a great job, but maybe in doing so is making things to easy to last.
I loved the first part of the book and all the characters, I was less fond of the second part as I found it too focused on the mother than on Poppy/Claude.
Overall, a novel of high impact for the subject more than for the writing style.

"How did you teach your small human that it’s what’s inside that counts when the truth was everyone was pretty preoccupied with what you put on over the outside too?” 

Overall rating:  8,5    Plot: 8,5   Writing style: 8   Cover:  8

Title: This is how it always is

Author: Laurie Frankel
Publisher: Headline Review
Pages: 480
Publication year: 2018

The Plot:

When Rosie and Penn and their four boys welcome the newest member of their family, no one is surprised it’s another baby boy. But at least their large, loving, chaotic family knows what to expect.
But Claude is not like his brothers. One day he puts on a dress and refuses to take it off. He wants to bring a purse to kindergarten. He wants hair long enough to sit on. When he grows up, Claude says, he wants to be a girl.
Rosie and Penn aren’t panicked at first. Kids go through phases, after all, and make-believe is fun. But soon the entire family is keeping Claude’s secret. Until one day it explodes. 

The Author:
Laurie Frankel is the New York Timesbestselling, award-winning author of three novels. Her writing has also appeared in The New York Times, The Guardian, Publisher’s Weekly, People Magazine, Lit Hub, The Sydney Morning Herald, and other publications. She is the recipient of the Washington State Book Award. Her novels have been translated into more than twenty-five languages, and all three have been optioned for film or TV. A former college professor, she now writes full-time. She was recently named one of the 50 Most Influential Women in Seattle where she lives with her family and makes good soup.